Today I am grateful for so many things. It's been a crazy week and a crazy day. Thank God at some point things switch from boiling over stress to one thing at a time working itself out. I had my heart surgery in February. It was a clinical trial and I had a 50/50 chance of getting the hole in my heart fixed. It was especially nerve racking because no one could talk during the procedure. Mind you I was awake, and anyone who knows me well knows I'm a bit anxious and high strung so this didn't sit well. The anestiseologist had to give me the medicine 4 or 5 times to try and get me to relax, and I was still wide awake during the entire procedure...at least they will be able to talk to me this time. Maybe that will help me relax.
I learned later that they had to stop half way through because I have a 20mm hole in my heart. Unfortunately the trial device wasn't big enough to close this and would have caused more problems. Dr. Sorensen who came up with the idea to close ASDs and PFOs this way had a much smaller hole than mine, 7 or 8mm if I remember correctly, and had 2 strokes before he could get his fixed. Luckily I had a great surgeon who realized that and didn't put it in my heart. That would have led to open heart surgery at the very least. And what a blessing to have these great surgeons go up to bat for me before the board at IMC so that I could get my surgery approved before I have a second, and potentially more debilitating stroke. And what a blessing to have such an amazing insurance company who will cover my surgery without having to beg and plead and hope to God I don't have a second stroke.
That came with it's own stresses. Taking Aspirin everyday in the hopes of preventing a stroke, which according to the doctors I may have already had one (hello I'm only 31 and I don't smoke!). Then the bills started coming in. Might I remind you this was through a clinical trial so the research company was supposed to be paying the bills. However this has turned out to be a huge blessing. My insurance paid all but $800 of it. Now my deductible has been met, my out of pocket for the year has almost been met and the research company paid the balance today. Huge relief to me.
My soon to be 19 month old went pee in the potty 3 days in a row. This has only been 1 time each day but that is huge progress. I would absolutely love for her to be potty trained since she is a nudist like my sister, maybe that should be sisters lol.
Speaking of nudity...I was wondering again today why I bother to put clothes on. Maddison loves to untie my drawstring, which makes my pants fall off and laughs hysterically. Thank God for humor everyday with her or I would go crazy.
Which leads me to another thought. It's coming up to my 19 month anniversary of not working for pay. I've been asked lots of times what I do when I get bored. When have I ever gotten bored, maybe when I worked full time and didn't have a baby to take care of. If only I would have listened and slept as much as I wanted to when I was younger.
I'm also grateful that my mother in law was able to come down last weekend and watch Maddison. Ben took me to Vegas for my MOMS Club seminar. It was nice to have couple time. Especially since we have only been on 3 dates since she was born. I'm so happy that she didn't cry a bunch while we were gone, I'm pretty sure I cried enough for all of us.
I'm also very grateful for my BFF Briana who loaned my a portable dvd player. Talk about making a long drive so much better. Put a little girl in front of Lady and The Tramp and that interstate goes by so much faster!
And before I go off to kindleland I'm grateful for good friends and an amazing family. My surgery is supposed to be a cath like last time, slightly longer healing since my hole will actually get closed this time. However nerve racking it is if it all goes well, I know that if anything goes wrong I've got the most amazing family and friends a girl could ask for who will help take care of me, my daughter and my husband until I can recover. Thank you all for your love and support!!!
Happy Friday!
Jade
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