Happy Monday!

  I know it's Monday, but I keep thinking it's the weekend.  Maybe that's why I am still awake.  I really should be sleeping so I can keep up with my 19 month old tomorrow.  Maybe I just need to clear my head first.  I wish I could see at night, I'd go for a run.  That would definitely clear my head and relieve this anxious energy that keeps building inside me.
  The logical part of me knows that everything is okay.  My surgery is 8 days away and I know what to expect.  I'll go in after fasting after midnight.  They will ask me a bunch of questions, hook me up to an IV and roll me through the recovery room to the cath lab.  After giving me some medicine to relax (hopefully it works this time), I'll get 2 small incisions and they will put the device in my heart.  I'll go back to the recovery room within 2 hours and be up walking around as soon as the bleeding stops.  Then I'll be headed home to recover.
  However the emotional part of me remembers how it took a solid week before I could pick up Maddison.  I was under the impression that I'd be back to normal in a couple days.  Then it took over a month for the swelling and bruising to heal.  So that has me concerned, this time I'm getting the real deal. I'll have the device in my heart and will have to take it even easier than before so that it doesn't move before it has time to heal.  Then there's the fact that my migraines will probably be worse for 3 - 6 months.
  Don't get me wrong, I am grateful and relieved to finally be at this point.  But I'm nervous about what happens during the recovery period. I think I need to adopt the AA motto of the Serenity Prayer.  Maybe I should write that on all of my bathroom mirrors.
  Since running is out of the question right now, I guess I'll have to get to work on my to do list.  I've got diaper cakes galore to make, along with mother's day gifts and some belated birthday gifts.  Between those projects and taking care of Maddison, plus another thorough house cleaning I think I should be able to stay busy.  And during the evenings when all is quiet I'll type away on my new blog so I can lay down and sleep with a clear head.
  Thanks to all of you for being such a great support system.  Especially when I get anxious, I know it's not easy to put up with me right now.  So thank you, I owe you one.
  Jade